one thing just goes and ruins your mood #4

Yeah i dont know how to really express how i feel very well a lot of the time but today was going really well. I stress the word ‘was’ because it really was. 

I had spent the day doing some cleaning at a family friends that earns me a bit of money, then i went into college for 2 hours for a theory lesson which went really well. 

If theres one thing you need to know about me is that i am a complete music nerd. I love theory and ever since i started the music theory lessons at college back in october i have just understood it all and it’s just the best. So as you can imagine i was really happy coming out of the lesson and was telling amber about how great it was. 

ONLY to get an email from college saying i had to resit one of my exams. Fuck!

This doesn’t necessarily piss me off but the fact there’s no reason why i have to resit is what grinds my gears and has ruined my mood completely. 

I was looking forward to a nice journey imagining all the 9th chords i could make on my guitar, but this kind of throws a spanner in the works mentally. 

I have never really dealt with hits like this very well, however all of a sudden i feel like this blog could be my way of dealing with it and putting stuff in perspective and in the end helping my mental health both now and in future. 

I am going to use this to lay things out and explain to myself this is not a hit and will not make me feel bad. 

“Why might they have done this though?” – i ask. Well clearly they think i can do better. And i know i can. And they’re only doing what is best for me in order to help me transition into the degree course next year. So it really isnt bad.

“Come on its so annoying i have to go in next Wednesday at 9! When i could be laying in! Fuck sake!” – i exclaim. Honestly what would i be doing anyway? Of course it’s annoying getting up early but i have it easy anyway i dont have to get up early everyday so it’s really not that bad.

So yeah. Perspective is usually something i disregard and i feel like this has helped. I already feel better, i guess. 

Anyway, back to what i am planning to do tonight. I have decided to save up for some fancy studio speakers for my room so i can listen to my recordings better, so it’ll only help my work flow. However, to get these I need money. So therefore i am going to sell some things i own. For example guitar pedals, etc.

So tonight, i am going to put some stuff on ebay. Also, i am going to do some music theory practice and make some jazz kinda songs for my next album kind of thing. We shall see how it pans out. I will probably get home at 7, so that gives me like 4 hours to do all of that including making a stir fry dinner (i will be making it vegan as you may want to know) . 

Need to get home first though don’t i! 

Anyway, hope you have had a nice day. Improving my mental health will only improve me as a person! Hope your mental health is in a good place too, it’s far more important than anything else. 


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